No one likes to think about death. When we do we inevitably question our own mortality. We feel helpless when faced with demise, trapped in its consequence and inescapable finality. Yet, the awareness of how limited time is makes one appreciate each shared moment so much more. Bedburg, GERMANY, August 14, 2015.
'Odyssey'. The few belongings that would accompany Helga to her new home fitted into one suitcase. Neuss, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
'Adjustment'. After arrival at the retirement home, a nurse explained the daily routines and activities to Helga. Helga had been living by herself for over 40 years. Adopting to her new surroundings - including having a room mate for the first time in her life - proved very difficult for her. Wegberg, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
'Holding on'. Helga holding my hand. Bedburg, GERMANY, October 7, 2015.
'Young beauty'. Helga as a beautiful young woman when she was 27 years old. Bedburg, GERMANY, October 13, 2015.
'Chocolate pudding'. At times Helga was interacting like her old witty self; at other times she would be in another world, listlessly staring into nothingness. Here Nicoletta encouraged Helga to eat her chocolate pudding. Wegberg, GERMANY, June 1, 2015.
'Transition'. Helga and Nicoletta walking. Helga always loved going for a stroll. Even at 92, she would still go outside every day. „Kopf und Beine müssen immer in Bewegung bleiben“ (“Head and legs always have to keep moving“), was one of her life mottos. Bedburg, GERMANY, 1 June, 2015.
'Disturbia'. Helga riding the elevator in her house. Nicoletta had explained that she was moving to a retirement home today. Helga protested, then forgot about it a few moments later, only to ask again where we were going. Neuss, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
'Helga's livingroom'. Neuss, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
'Throw of the dice'. Helga always loved games. Once I tested her during a match of Yatzy, claiming that "4x5=30". "No!", she corrected me immediately, "4x5=20!” Studies show that cognitive activities can delay the onset of memory decline in persons who suffer from dementia. Bedburg, GERMANY, September 16, 2015.
'State of mind'. Helga looking out of her living room window. This day Helga was moved out of the apartment in which she had lived in for 55 years, to be admitted into a closed medical facility. Neuss, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
'Empathy'. As time progressed, the effects of Helga’s illness, not only on herself but the other family members, became apparent. Bedburg, GERMANY, September 17, 2015.
'Reluctance'. Helga leaving her living room. On the right hand side, there is a picture Nicoletta when she was 16 years old. Nicoletta grew up in this apartment with Helga and her grandmother Edith. Neuss, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
'Admission'. Helga signing a document to redirect her post to Nicoletta upon arrival at the retirement home. Wegberg, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
'Yielding'. Helga sitting in her kitchen, while her daughter Nicoletta finalises preparations for the departure to the retirement home. Neuss, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
Helga checks her letterbox one last time before moving to the retirement home. Neuss, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
'Defiance'. Helga trying on new sunglasses that Nicoletta brought her. Helga had taken a fall and was released from hospital that day. Bedburg, GERMANY, July 17, 2015.
'Family photographs'. Family photographs in Helga's living room. The picture on the right shows Helga as a 27 year old woman, the pictures show her late husband. Neuss, GERMANY, May 29, 2015.
'Estrangement'. Helga and Nicoletta inside Helga's bathroom at the closed medical facility. As time progressed, the effects of Helga’s illness, not only on herself but the other family members, became apparent. That day Helga was hallucinating and Nicoletta got very upset. Bedburg, GERMANY, September 17, 2015.
'Indulgence'. Helga always had a sweet tooth and loved iced coffee. Here I took her to an Italian café to splurge. Bergheim, GERMANY, September 15, 2015.
'Absence'. Helga stares into nothingness while Nicoletta jokes with another patient on the veranda of the closed medical facility. At times Helga was interacting like her old witty self; at other times she would be in another world. Bedburg, GERMANY, October 8, 2015.
'Reminiscence'. Helga looking at a photograph of the house she grew up in her birthtown, Potsdam, as a child. Bedburg, GERMANY, October 13, 2015.
'Grace'. Helga's grace and courage never seized to amaze and inspire me. Bedburg, GERMANY, September 17, 2015.
'Memorial'. Nicoletta arranges a flower during Helga's memorial, which was held in the closest cricle of family and friends. During a ceremony family members spread some of Helga's ashes in the river Rhine. Cologne, GERMANY, December 5, 2015.
'Closure'. Helga now rests in peace at 'Heiliger See' (Engl: Holy Lake). I released her ashes into the wind there because it was Helga's favorite place in her birth town, Potsdam, as a young woman. Potsdam, GERMANY, August 25, 2016.